How to Know if You Are Done Having Babies
one / 10
You feel "complete"
If you lot've institute yourself whispering "You lot consummate me" a la Jerry Maguire to your youngest child, then you're probably not feeling the urge to add any more kids to your family. Why set what isn't cleaved, correct? There's a certain sense of completion that is born forth with the final child in a family that merely feels correct. Information technology's a gut feeling more than annihilation else, although it sounds rather corny to say that when y'all know, y'all know. It's truthful, and it shouldn't be discounted. If you're a family of three, and you observe yourself gazing longingly at the fourth chair around the dinner tabular array, so yous're probably not experiencing this sense of completion. If y'all run across one kid in a high chair and you're expert with that, it's perfectly fine to own it.
two / 10
Pregnancy feels like information technology was a lot of work
If you can remember the dirty details of pregnancy vividly—the aches and pains, the skin changes, the waddling, heartburn, and the indisposition—and yous don't gloss over them over to reminisce about the wonderful things that come with it, so you're probably non looking to go meaning anytime before long, if e'er, again. Pregnancy is the best of times and the worst of times, putting it mildly. When a adult female remembers past pregnancies and instantly recalls popping joints, an aching dorsum, and Braxton Hicks contractions, she'south pretty much over it. Certain, pregnancy also means feeling tiny kicks from within, listening to the wonder that is another heartbeat inside of you, and anticipating all the joy that a new baby volition bring likewise. But assuasive yourself to think information technology realistically isn't a offense either. If all you can focus on are the negatives, it might be time to pass along those maternity clothes.
3 / 10
Y'all attend baby showers and offering veteran mom advice
Attending infant showers equally a invitee when you plan to accept more children and when yous are finished having children are two very different experiences. If y'all're still in "baby style," you'll most probable feel more than just the average excitement for the expectant mother—you'll feel a sense of joy and anticipation about being in her shoes one time over again yourself. However, if baby days are firmly in your past, y'all'll gladly offer the tips and tricks you've picked up through the years while sipping your mimosa and silently rejoicing that you lot'll never have a need for nipple cream again. You won't exist taking note of the latest baby gifts and gadgets for your own hereafter apply, you'll be too busy planning to include them in a infant gift for the next shower you attend.
4 / 10
Y'all see moms of newborns and want to hug them
You can spot them anywhere, and in an instant, you can recall what it felt like to stand in their shoes. You recognize it all: the crying newborn, wailing in short hungry bursts that won't exist quieted by a pacifier; the panicked face she wears as she stands in the store aisle, desperate to be out of the business firm if only for only a fiddling while. It all comes rushing back to y'all, and you instantly experience solidarity, empathy, and the need to hug her and tell her it's going to become amend. Now y'all're on the other side of things, and your vision isn't overcast by sleepless nights and off-the-charts hormone levels. This is the gift of surviving the hazing that is the newborn period, and as a been-there done-that mom, information technology's time to pass information technology on. When you feel more wise than wishful about seeing a newborn, that's a sure sign that you've moved on.
5 / x
When asked if you're having more you don't hesitate
People beloved to enquire mothers of child-begetting historic period if they're going to have more children. If you're non sure how to answer this question, you might hesitate or offering a bare stare—or simply reply "Are you?" For moms who are certain that they won't be popping out any more babies, their answers are direct, to the point, and confident. That'southward your gut speaking, then listen upwardly.
vi / 10
You've resumed old hobbies
In one case you lot're past the all-consuming baby stage of parenting, the world that you once knew before having kids opens back upwards, allowing you to enjoy things you've had to identify on the back-burner temporarily, whether you were an avid volume grouping member, golfer, surfer, vlogger, museum volunteer, or singer in a rock ring. Of course, many mothers are able to fit in some of their old hobbies hither and there, simply information technology's non commonly every bit immersive. There'southward nap fourth dimension and nursing times to consider, along with separation feet and mom guilt. It'southward all a lot to carry for a new mom, and when some of that neediness eases up, it tin feel really freeing. If you lot've experienced this newfound freedom and don't see yourself returning to the days of being tied to an infant round the clock, y'all're probably well on your way to accepting your family as is.
7 / 10
Yous rejoice and mourn every bit each milestone passes
Your babies are getting older, and their childhood really is passing in the blink of an centre. Every time one hits a new milestone, whether it'due south first steps, offset words, potty training, or kindergarten, you feel a sense of pride, happiness, and too a twinge of sadness—because you know it'southward the final time you'll experience it. The very same milestones with your previous babies felt unlike. Possibly you were bummed that time was passing so quickly, simply you lot comforted yourself with the knowledge that you could soak up those cherished baby moments once again with the next child. This is non the instance for the last infant in the family. You know that when it'south over, it'southward really over—and that feels like relief and sorrow at the same time. Or information technology could simply be relief, and that's okay also. So long diaper bag! Good riddance!
8 / 10
Your baby fever doesn't stick around
Most mothers volition always miss certain aspects of motherhood: the weight of a newborn sleeping on your chest, slobbery, pasty kisses that cover your face, and the soft coos and sweet noises an infant makes when trying to communicate. The colic and all-nighters somehow get tucked into the deep recesses of a mother'south heed, particularly when she sees or holds someone else'southward new baby. When baby fever hits for a veteran mom, information technology'due south completely normal for all of those fuzzy memories of new motherhood to come up rushing back. Who can resist the delicious smell of a brand new babe? For a mom who is completely done having babies, even so, information technology's equally lovely to hand that infant back to its mother and resume enjoying your cappuccino and funny videos of cats knocking things off counters while planning your ski vacation to Breckenridge.
9 / 10
Birth feels impossible
Once a mother has a few years between her and the experience of giving birth, however it happened, it becomes increasingly hard to believe that her body went through such an ordeal and really survived. Birth experiences vary from peaceful to wildly traumatic, and yet most women detect themselves reflecting on it with a sense of pride and awe of their body's ability to bring another man into the earth. If you're incomparably finished having children, birth can seem like something you can't ever imagine experiencing again. Always. If you had health weather condition or complications during past births, you lot might even take feelings of fright, dread, or panic. Requite yourself the grace to accept your own feelings surrounding your nascency experience, and if y'all're truly done having children, then breathe a sigh of relief. Y'all've done it, and you survived—and yous don't always have to do it again.
10 / 10
You tin can't imagine having it better than you do now
When yous await effectually your dinner table or gaze at family portraits and feel content, you probably don't have a burning want for more children. Mayhap you lot can happily picture yourself several years down the route with the adult versions of the children y'all at present take. Y'all run into them graduating, getting married, having their own children—and in none of those images is a pigsty where that second, third, or quaternary kid would be, if just you could take it. Now you can boot dorsum and focus on the little pleasures, similar building a snowman, laughing at the hilarious things your kids say, and taking ridiculous selfies together. That'due south your family—perfect just the way it is.
Originally Published: December 20, 2016
Source: https://www.rd.com/list/done-having-kids/
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